Welcome to the wild world wide web: I’m your host Njål. and today we will take a closer look at some of the inhabitants in this fine establishment.
On the right hand there is twitter, a place where twerps, trollops and trolls conjugate in great enough numbers to clog up the platform. Looking for a safe space? Check elsewhere, because there is none. Despite what the people on there screams like a banshee stalking the moors claims. In this wretched hive of scum and villainy, fans of censorship, those that hate speech. aside from their own voice. A plethora of celebrities, who think that well adjusted people listen. A couple of politicians that spams things for the sake of publicity.
Companies that care too much about the loud minority of ill adjusted weirdos, the type of cretins that are not their customers. There is also a vocal collection of fanatical fans of any media, be it religion, or a franchise like Star Wars. The court is debating whether these types of creatures are cut from the same cloth, or if it is an evolutionary dead end. It is as they say, ignorance is bliss and being willfully dense is the easiest thing in the world. Herein you will also social justice warriors attack the foundation of civil society, like barbarians at the gate of Rome. This bile of vile words and violence are waging a war on whomever they disagree with. Regardless of political affiliation. Gender, melanin content and content of their character. These accursed beings are hunting for the very elusive prey known as alt right. An alleged type of human that might exist out there, but we’ve yet to find definite proof among the YouTube commentary crowd.
Another subset that usually exists on Twitter until they run afoul enough these sick jerk wankers and get the boot. Words are apparently very dangerous these days, despite how easy they are to block. Aside from these easily offended and triggered ticks, we can also find a lot of erotica, be it drawn, real, animated, illegal, or just the good old disgusting kind. The type you show to other teenagers to have them regurgitate their lunch and to scar them for life. Some bodily fluids should not enter the human body in any capacity.
On the left hand side we have a handful of people, if one could call them that. Humans that think they can talk loudly in public without anyone listening in or interrupting them. Let me tell you one thing, the walls have ears and loose lips do sink ships.
Further down the corridor we have an elective bunch of online celebrities that spews out opinionated videos about any subject under the sun, from law, to entertainment and everything in between.
Amidst of these colorful beings, you might just spot a curio from the early days of the web. One of these enigmatic people is the allegedly satire maestro Maddox, whom is an mildly successful author of works such as fuck the whales. His real call to fame is the decades old site of his, full of articles that have vivid depictions on how to gas babies in the overhead compartment while in flight to silence their screams, urinating on wedding gowns and oh so many hate mails. Rumor has it that he used to be funny, but we’re not entirely sure if the stuff he wrote was meant as a joke. Unfortunately his glory days have long passed and now he is a depressive empty shell of his former self. Such is the faith of anyone that fails to cash in on their legacy. Luckily we managed to stuff him into a small sized terrarium.
Next to him we have another curious creature known as Dick, the master of rapid ranting and rationality, despite an unhealthy consumption of alcohol. This loud individual ran the biggest problem in the universe, until his co host went crazy over an ex girlfriend. A truly glorious mess to behold. Which turned Dick into a massively popular person, and most likely the most inclusive and diverse podcaster on the web.
Our crew of collectors did try to acquire a specimen known as Mister Metekour, a mysterious faceless man, that is clever enough to hide behind an avatar. This enigma loves to take a dump on very mentally messed up people that finds ways to get stuck in the web. Unfortunately this man is impossible to locate, any information would be welcome and should be forwarded to the hunting team.
If you follow me further down the corridor, there is also a huge selection of lawyers. Most of them still have their soul intact, despite their career choice. Legal eagle is probably the exception, we’ve yet to determine if his is real, or a corporate friendly doll. Regardless these legal scholars can analyze any court case with ease and clarity, that normies are incapable of grasping, due to the nature of law.
Over at this display, we can gaze upon amazing artists that somehow always end up in some sort of silly controversy due to their poor communication skills. However separating art from the artist is a very worthy and arduous task that all sane onlookers should embrace.
Now we arrive at the idol worshipers, these are among the most dangerous individuals we have captured. These zealots crawl around in the dust of people with power and influence, hanging on to their every word like a limpet mine on the hull of a ship. Regardless of what they worship, they are all the same kind of crazy. Regardless of their zeal, they can not differentiate fantasy from reality. Unless their idol dare to say the wrong word and their worshipers fragile egos shatter like glass from a window that someone threw a rock through.
Next up is a collection of critters that was really, really hard to contain. The game journalists, if one can call them that. A person of this profession is supposed to get paid to play games and write about said games. Yet they are woefully incompetent at their cushy job. For some asinine reason they are more interested in ruining anything they touch, despite their innate ass-kissing skills. Creeps like these are more content writing slander about politicians and expressing their opinions on unrelated subject matters they have almost no knowledge about. To this day our facility staff have no idea why an orange man is important when reviewing a gaming platform.
Next to these so-called professionals, we have actual professionals that fall into a lot of the same trappings when it comes to news that happens around the globe. We decided to lump them into the same category, due to how incompetent they are at their job. We assume that standing on top of an ivory tower and looking down makes it very hard to see the truth. After all facts are better when fabricated. Somewhere in here there should be some actual journalists. But they are almost rarer than rooster teeth.
The next selection is an actual vocal bunch, due to their career as voice actors. These people are an insecure and catty lot that will gladly backstab their friends. You would be wrong to think that their job required nothing more than dubbing voices of animated characters. This however is not the case. A scant few of them is actually good at their job and is capable of sounding like a living being that organically reacts to the world they are acting within. More often than not it comes out as someone hit them over the head until their brain turned to mush. Oh well nothing lost really, we’re quite sure people would learn more languages if they weren't making money on replacing the original voices.
There are many, many, more morons, normies, and their mothers to be found at said platform.
Let it be said, this social media bedlam, serves as the public equivalent of an insane asylum, were the wardens are patients, and everyone is a research subjects into the collective mind murder of mankind. Everyone is free to look into the window of a deranged mind, but be careful the abyss gazes back and its allure leads to madness. Let this be a warning to you all, take heed or you will fall into the rabbithole. Where you will be cooked like a frog in a pan.
There are many more to be found in the wild, but it is an ongoing process of an unprecedented magnitude.
That concludes our tour for now, at the end of the exhibit, you’ll find refreshments.
Njål Signing out
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