Welcome to the wild world wide web

Welcome to the wild world wide web: I’m your host Njål. and today we will take a closer look at some of the inhabitants in this fine establishment.

On the right hand there is twitter, a place where twerps, trollops and trolls conjugate in great enough numbers to clog up the platform. Looking for a safe space? Check elsewhere, because there is none. Despite what the people on there screams like a banshee stalking the moors claims. In this wretched hive of scum and villainy, fans of censorship, those that hate speech. aside from their own voice. A plethora of celebrities, who think that well adjusted people listen. A couple of politicians that spams things for the sake of publicity. 

Companies that care too much about the loud minority of ill adjusted weirdos, the type of cretins that are not their customers. There is also a vocal collection of fanatical fans of any media, be it religion, or a franchise like Star Wars. The court is debating whether these types of creatures are cut from the same cloth, or if it is an evolutionary dead end. It is as they say, ignorance is bliss and being willfully dense is the easiest thing in the world. Herein you will also social justice warriors attack the foundation of civil society, like barbarians at the gate of Rome. This bile of vile words and violence are waging a war on whomever they disagree with. Regardless of political affiliation. Gender, melanin content and content of their character. These accursed beings are hunting for the very elusive prey known as alt right. An alleged type of human that might exist out there, but we’ve yet to find definite proof among the YouTube commentary crowd.

 Another subset that usually exists on Twitter until they run afoul enough these sick jerk wankers and get the boot. Words are apparently very dangerous these days, despite how easy they are to block. Aside from these easily offended and triggered ticks, we can also find a lot of erotica, be it drawn, real, animated, illegal, or just the good old disgusting kind. The type you show to other teenagers to have them regurgitate their lunch and to scar them for life. Some bodily fluids should not enter the human body in any capacity. 

On the left hand side we have a handful of people, if one could call them that. Humans that think they can talk loudly in public without anyone listening in or interrupting them. Let me tell you one thing, the walls have ears and loose lips do sink ships. 

Further down the corridor we have an elective bunch of online celebrities that spews out opinionated videos about any subject under the sun, from law, to entertainment and everything in between.
Amidst of these colorful beings, you might just spot a curio from the early days of the web. One of these enigmatic people is the allegedly satire maestro Maddox, whom is an mildly successful author of works such as fuck the whales. His real call to fame is the decades old site of his, full of articles that have vivid depictions on how to gas babies in the overhead compartment while in flight to silence their screams, urinating on wedding gowns and oh so many hate mails. Rumor has it that he used to be funny, but we’re not entirely sure if the stuff he wrote was meant as a joke. Unfortunately his glory days have long passed and now he is a depressive empty shell of his former self. Such is the faith of anyone that fails to cash in on their legacy. Luckily we managed to stuff him into a small sized terrarium.

Next to him we have another curious creature known as Dick, the master of rapid ranting and rationality, despite an unhealthy consumption of alcohol. This loud individual ran the biggest problem in the universe, until his co host went crazy over an ex girlfriend. A truly glorious mess to behold. Which turned Dick into a massively popular person, and most likely the most inclusive and diverse podcaster on the web.

Our crew of collectors did try to acquire a specimen known as Mister Metekour, a mysterious faceless man, that is clever enough to hide behind an avatar. This enigma loves to take a dump on very mentally messed up people that finds ways to get stuck in the web. Unfortunately this man is impossible to locate, any information would be welcome and should be forwarded to the hunting team.

If you follow me further down the corridor, there is also a huge selection of lawyers. Most of them still have their soul intact, despite their career choice. Legal eagle is probably the exception, we’ve yet to determine if his is real, or a corporate friendly doll. Regardless these legal scholars can analyze any court case with ease and clarity, that normies are incapable of grasping, due to the nature of law.

Over at this display, we can gaze upon amazing artists that somehow always end up in some sort of silly controversy due to their poor communication skills. However separating art from the artist is a very worthy and arduous task that all sane onlookers should embrace.
Now we arrive at the idol worshipers, these are among the most dangerous individuals we have captured. These zealots crawl around in the dust of people with power and influence, hanging on to their every word like a limpet mine on the hull of a ship. Regardless of what they worship, they are all the same kind of crazy. Regardless of their zeal, they can not differentiate fantasy from reality. Unless their idol dare to say the wrong word and their worshipers fragile egos shatter like glass from a window that someone threw a rock through. 

Next up is a collection of critters that was really, really hard to contain. The game journalists, if one can call them that. A person of this profession is supposed to get paid to play games and write about said games. Yet they are woefully incompetent at their cushy job. For some asinine reason they are more interested in ruining anything they touch, despite their innate ass-kissing skills. Creeps like these are more content writing slander about politicians and expressing their opinions on unrelated subject matters they have almost no knowledge about. To this day our facility staff have no idea why an orange man is important when reviewing a gaming platform.

Next to these so-called professionals, we have actual professionals that fall into a lot of the same trappings when it comes to news that happens around the globe. We decided to lump them into the same category, due to how incompetent they are at their job. We assume that standing on top of an ivory tower and looking down makes it very hard to see the truth. After all facts are better when fabricated. Somewhere in here there should be some actual journalists. But they are almost rarer than rooster teeth.

The next selection is an actual vocal bunch, due to their career as voice actors. These people are an insecure and catty lot that will gladly backstab their friends. You would be wrong to think that their job required nothing more than dubbing voices of animated characters. This however is not the case. A scant few of them is actually good at their job and is capable of sounding like a living being that organically reacts to the world they are acting within. More often than not it comes out as someone hit them over the head until their brain turned to mush. Oh well nothing lost really, we’re quite sure people would learn more languages if they weren't making money on replacing the original voices. 

There are many, many, more morons, normies, and their mothers to be found at said platform.
Let it be said, this social media bedlam, serves as the public equivalent of an insane asylum, were the wardens are patients, and everyone is a research subjects  into the collective mind murder of mankind. Everyone is free to look into the window of a deranged mind, but be careful the abyss gazes back and its allure leads to madness. Let this be a warning to you all, take heed or you will fall into the rabbithole. Where you will be cooked like a frog in a pan.

There are many more to be found in the wild, but it is an ongoing process of an unprecedented magnitude.
That concludes our tour for now, at the end of the exhibit, you’ll find refreshments. 

Njål Signing out

Cyberpunk 2077 - Sex, dugs and rock - Review.

Cyberpunk 2077 is an adaptation of a fairly old tabletop RPG. Turned into a first person shooter, a very fun one, but quite rough around the edges. Keep in mind I only have the PC version I bought from gog.com. Sure the steam one has achievements, but this time around I can't be bothered hunting for those. The setting is one where America got thrashed and a fancy multi national city was built on top of the trash pile. Night city is a crowded, polluted metropolis, with more guns and crime than people. The corporations run the world, gangs roam free, police brutality is the norm, and the poor people are still being oppressed. All of this nuance is beautifully portrayed in-game, bringing fresh life, and character to the crowded open sand sandbox genre. The graphics are truly jaw dropping gorgeous, especially with ray tracing activated. However my gpu is rubbish, especially when live-streaming the game. However even at potato settings it looks fantastic. The city is littered with humans looking busy and everywhere I go someone is having a chat. The voice acting is top notch as well, which makes everything even better. Every nationality speaks their own language. Luckily the game provides a translation device.

However not everything is well in paradise. Picking up items which are crucial for materials, healing, and money. Is quite often a finicky process that often leads to frustration and busy work. Especially when an object is stuck. I've experienced some overlapping dialogue, sequences where there was no sound and the smoke turning into glitching triangles when the frame rate is set to 60 fps. On top of that there are glitched people sliding through the streets, they're ultimately harmless though and fun to spot in the wild. The hacking visor vision struggles a lot when too many objects are close and sometimes the player slowly raises from crouching to standing.

An unfortunate design decision made by the developers can in fact trigger epileptic players. Whenever I have to enter a holographic recording of some poor persons memory, I equip a headset that flashes bright blinking lights onto my face.

The sound picture is phenomenal, with a lot of depth, from creaking leather seats, to the ambiance of the city. Got a bit tired of the combat music though. While the radio is full of spiffy songs, I ultimately ended up muting the music, it's just not to my taste. A custom playlist could fix just that. With that said, I should probably go on a deep dive into the game play mechanics.  At the start of a new game of Cyberpunk I had to design my character, which ended up looking very weird. Yes the woman I made with a manly voice, which now looks more like an alien than a sentient human being. There are a mediocre amount of choices which is to be expected, but nothing to write home about. Seeing as the whole experience is seen from the players point of view, there is not much out of the ordinary with the controls, aside from some mapping issues. 

Such as dodging is double tapping the crouch button, which is also used to slide, when sprinting, which leads to unintended crouched instead. On a gamepad the right stick is used for a quick strike with the butt of the gun, but when I hold it down a free cam to take custom pictures is activated. One key doing too many things can quickly get irritating. Espesiall the interact key that picks up items, used to initialize dialogue and other contextual actions.

Cyberpunk has a lot of brutal combat encounters, which all have a set difficulty level and in most cases any enemy with a red skull is pointless to fight, until much later. Gunplay feels great, from generic shotguns, to tech guns. The kind that has fun extra feature as homing bullets and setting people on fire. Since this is a futuristic sci-fi setting the closest thing to magic is hacking someones retina, overloading them, setting them on fire and other disabling abilities. Naturally some enemies can do the same to the player. Despite all the bullets flying around, punching people into coma is perfectly viable and unlike a katana, it is considered non lethal. Combat stats are improved through cybernetic implants, gear and leveling up. It's fairly fun to install the gorilla hands and rip a turret off its podium, or to cut someones head off with wrist mounted mantis blade. Yes, people will lose limbs, so it is anything but a child friendly game. Stealth is also an entirely viable options, even if the silenced weapon skill tree is kinda useless. As long as an enemy is not severely outclassing the player, any human can be grabbed from behind and getting knocked out. Both are required for certain quests and sequences. The thing I'm personally puzzled about is the fact that I'm equipped with a wall piercing gun that is also non lethal.

Since Cyberpunk is a city sized sandbox, there is a lot of side content to go around. Practically everywhere I go there is something to interact with. Plus many missions have hidden entrances and alternative paths that let me ghost through to the objective. The few times an npc is involved in some sort of escort mission, they're seldom useless and never in the way. Even on hard they're kinda useful. They certainly live longer than me. It is interesting to see that quick saves are allowed as long as combat is not initiated, which makes save scamming possible until the job is done. The ai is not particularly bright and often end up walking on air. Combat in Cyberpunk is also entirely stat based, positioning is important as well as cover, but eventually an upgraded weapon will be tendered completely useless. The animations are also hilarious at times, especially when enemies stumble over fallen comrades, after all a face planted enemy is easy to hit.

Crafting as I mentioned earlier is simple, but very useful. Especially when fully upgraded, since I can make epic weapons and do a lot more damage with those fancy tech weapons. Basically enemies drop random clothes and guns, which I can use, unless the game tells me otherwise, sell for pocket change, or to simply turn into crafting materials. Regardless, it is not possible to max out every skill tree, or to respec stat points, so a bit of planning is needed. Leveling is made up of three parts. There is the player level gained through combat and questing, then there is street cred which has its own progress bar. On top of that the various skill trees has some of this as well, especially crafting. Especially clothes and special guns has unlock requirements related to skill level and street cred. I have to admit that its generally easier to just use whatever I can find on enemies, even if I end up looking like a fashion disaster.

Traveling through the Night city is a relatively easy going affair, be it fast traveling at bus stops, going by foot and climbing like a monkey, or with a set of wheels. Which can be bought for money gained through the game. They all handle just fine, as long as I hit the brakes before I go around a corner. It usually ends up with me moving down pedestrians, which pisses off the police. Fortunately for me I simply have to get far enough away to lose them. Due to me playing on hard, any angry officer drone is a death sentence. There is no mechanic for getting arrested, or revived after all. 

All in all, I can truly recommend Cyberpunk 2077 to anyone that likes a violent game about criminals getting in way over their head in the worst American city imaginable. If full frontal nudity, some sex, and flashing lights trigger you. Do not get the game.

Njål signing out

# zaceron

A honest Cyberpunk review

Cyberpunk is a first person game with a lot of action and a gripping narrative. However I am very, very dissatisfied with the CD Projekt red. I can not make a non binary character, equipped with huge ballistics, a mister stud implant, rainbow coloured hair and having my character being referred to the proper noun. Seriously it is the year 2020 and were still dealing with this rampant sexism. Misgendering is such a pain to deal with, for such a dainty flowers such as I. This setback did not deter me from making a blue haired avatar with plenty of room for my organs. Really, they had to give me a face full of flaccid dong when I went through the editor. This dainty stud almost resembles me. Not that I can see myself very often.

 Once I bumbled my way out of the tutorial after three hours I finally made my way into the neon infested capitalist hell hole. I was nearly run over by a driver texting. Then a mysagonitic man sexually harrased me and had the gall to use the wrong pronoun. So I cut him into ribbons with my wolverine claws and stole his bike. Driving sucks very bad, like a clogged robotic vacuum. I couldn't find the brakes, so I hurtled down the road at breakneck speed, until I hit a ramp hard. Which caused me to get plastered across a suggestive billboard. Later I crawled by a man screaming for help, but such a disgusting creature deserves nothing. Since being a game journalist is so hard, a had to mug a youtuber to get my well deserved copy of the game. 

CD projekt never replied to my emails, despite me bei g such an overwhelmingly success ful social media influencer. One with thousand plus selfies and over a hundred striking articles on how bad capitalism and crunch is. As a person with only one functioning arm and the representative of the Sampi people, I find the lack of nordic representation in a vide game set in America very disrespectful. The game also has terrible controls, did I mention that? Who makes a game not intended for one handed people, the lack of accessibility is simply galling. I demand a refund from the the publisher of Cyberpunk. These alt right neo fascist hooligans doesn't deserve my support! That said, Trump totally lost the election. There was absolutely no election fraud what so ever. Biden totally won fair and square and is like be the best president ever. He will totally handle the rest of America over to china and turn USA into a glorious Marxist utopia.

 This game revels in toxic masculinity. Everyone has perfect proportions, with pulsating muscles and big breasted woman with thin hourglass waist. Honestly, where are her organs? These big butted monstrosities is only intended to be over sexualized bait to lure in horny basement dwelling teenage boys. I'm pretty sure people like the disgusted manchild Quartering will complain about how I'm not reviewing the game and is more concerned about the orange orangutan that just got ejected. Other than that Cyberpunk is just way too long, I can't play for eighty hours plus and get paid for playing a game I don't care about. Also YellowFlash is clearly a white supremacist, but I refuse to show any evidence of this accusation, you'll have to take my word for it. I suppose there are some rpg elements in game, but that requires reading, which takes time and why would I botter taking over someones cyberlimbs to have them kill their comrades?

A game Jurnalst signing out.

Welcome to the Tom Cruise timeline.

 Greetings I'm Njål and welcome to the Tom Cruise timeline.

Tom is a prolific actor that is still cruising through Hollywood and history. He might be a crazy Scientologist, but he never stopped doing what he does best. Acting in a plethora of exciting movies, where he often ends up running a lot and doing most of the stunts himself. However I'm not here to critique the man, nor his career, or his movies. Because a thought occurred to me, all tom cruise movies take place in the  same universe. Practically all of them can be crammed onto the same earth. painting the man as a historical legend that has cemented his place in the history of the world. Sure such a timeline is purely coincidental, however since when has that ever stopped  humans from finding patterns in chaos? Not any time soon, that is for sure. Besides, I do love a good crossover.

At one early point in history a western soldier ended up becoming a samurai, roughly around the time the samurai was no more. Mostly due to changing times and weaponry.

Rumors has it that an eerie similar looking man was spotted in the wild west after he left Ireland, due to unfortunate circumstances

Sometime in 1944 a German officer was disillusioned by the horrible atrocities committed by the third Reich and a plot to assassinate Hitler took place.

During the eighties a new world war was almost started due to the actions of the ace pilot Maverick who deployed in a skirmish from the aircraft carrier USS enterprise. 

Research indicates that many doppelgangers somehow existed in America at the same time, however this is purely a coincidence, or a sinister plot to take over the earth, through edgy high schooners and rowdy teenagers.

Around the globe the same figure has been seen on the run from all manners of explosions caused by sinister cabals and international terrorism. But I'm fairly certain that a helicopter chasing a man into a train tunnel is over exaggerated. Though said person was caught acting like a gecko on the wall, climbing an insanely tall tower.

Then again a mummy was allegedly recovered and turned out to be very much alive and very wicked. This man's continued existence could in fact be the result of a curse.

Eventually wicked martians invaded earth and for a time their menacing tripods ruined mankind, but eventually humanity reclaimed the planet. Exactly what year this occurred is lost to the annals of history due to the collapse.

But from the looks of things other aliens have been tussled with in the year 2009 as well, where this blond baby-face has yet again played a pivotal role in guiding us forward.

In the year 2045 we have yet more recordings of this enigmatic man working for the police, arresting people before the crime has been even committed. This clearly indicates that there is something otherworldly about this being.

Njål signing out