Evil architecture

 My name is njål and welcome one and all.

Evil architecture has a long and sordid past and place in my heart, for both good and bad. Be it the original prince of Persia, Tomb raider, Resident Evil, or any other video game setting. I will not talk about anti homeless this d time around so worry not about having to Ollie that magic bum.

The noble adventurer caught by the evil vizier and dumped into the dungeons below the palace, now has to escape an absolutely insane labyrinth. One filled with ancient deadly death traps, creepy spooky skeletons, and a couple of clearly lost palace guards out for blood. 

Lara Croft is also living in a completely bonkers world that might just be caught up in the same sinister machinations. Though she is deliberately seeking out these elaborate death traps, they are not simply relegated to odd relics of the past. Even modern architecture suffers from other cruel machinations of a sinister shadow cabal.

Anyone familiar with the demented locations every Resident Evil protagonist have to slog through. Will know that there is something in the drinking water and I am not talking about a zombie virus. Because all of these worlds could be one and the same and are all made by someone absolutely insane. Not Spain in the fourth game took the architecture up to eleven and broke the knob clean off.

 I do believe that in this case the freemasons actually exist as an ever present secret society of cruel architects. People that have from time immemorial shaped the land around us. Who else would spend so much time making the Spencer mansion such a hellhole to travel though, designing traps that never stop, and crazy puzzles. The kind that takes strength and insane acrobatics to traverse. 

That a secret society is behind the scenes and shaping the land around us is indeed nothing but a silly conspiracy, that one fool with a phone can actually ruin. To me the very idea had some merits and is the perfect antagonist, or plot for any kind of setting. Picture this if you will. The hero has gone off the deep end, because the jewel key to the bathroom was hidden behind a one eyed tiger statue. Said figurine can only be accessed through an air duct that must be broken open with a rusty spork. Due to several such series of events the protagonist is now seeking out the source of his misery. The rabbit hole leads to a series of escalating events and some quirky characters scheming against the brick and mortar council. Just something to think about and consider.

Njål signing out #zaceron

Halo episode one rambling review.

 A gaggle of ratty teenagers goes into the dark dreary desert they live in, to get high, despite being told not to do such a thing. Then they spot evil religious alien. Signal flaring the camp of useless ragtag freedom fighters, only to watch the elites kill them all. Then to have the Spartans come to clean up the alien invaders. Who's more concerned with killing useless humans, despite being madsacred by the demon. Who uses about the same kind of caliber rounds the poorly disguised aka 47 uses. Needless to say, normal squishy human guns does no damage to shields, but master chef bullets do. Why he doesn't grab the plasma guns and deplete enemy shields is anyone's guess. The silver lining is that this sequence looks like Halo, complete with shield recharge sounds, first person moments and the elite laugh. With reckless disregard for anyone but his orders, the chief walks away with his squad, leaving the girl and several hundred dead behind. Because chasing down the enemy ship is more important. This is where things go downhill faster than a chipmunk on speed in a gerbil ball. The dark dry cave the junkies found contains a mysterious prothean beacon that undo decades of brainwashing. An alien is watching, ready to sucker punch the government tool. Instead it runs away and survives the squad of three highly trained super soldiers, turns invisible, and knocks over the bloody survivor who followed after them. Then proceed to flee away in a flying craft. We then switch to exposition, a lot of pointless prattling. One with some sketchy scientist that records everything and the evil maniacal government stooges planning to murder the girl with the bad haircut. The also drain the air out of the skip they conveniently control. The magic alien mcguffin have him humanity back and now he wants to help the teenager instead. Oh and a long necked covenant leader has adapted a human female only to give her a horrible collar costume and chastise her for reading human smut.

For some odd reason the two other people in master chumps party made it back before him on a separate ship, this makes no sense logistically at all. He refuse to murder the civilian, takes off his helmet and then proceed to get shot out of the air onece the auto pilot is shot to hell. But before several hundred maybes can breach the door. Matter mcguffin activates the artifact which restores the ship and disables everything else in the base. Nothing screams bad writing like a good old deus ex machina.

This all screams of paint by numbers, Chekhov's checklist and a reckless disregard for the source material. Hollywood is incapable of adapting it seems.

Njål signing out

Spillhuset i Bergen

I en smal Bergensgate kalt Veiten 3, i nærheten av den Nasjonale Scene. Et meget stort teater i sentrum, Der ligger det gamle Gestapo huset. Man går inn en fin tredør med noen markante lamper, og opp et par trapper til tredje etasje, og der finner man en inngang til et lokale med liv, litt leven og lys. 

Dette er Spillhuset, et nyåpnet hus dedikert til mange typer underholdning, alt fra tradisjonelle brettspill, til konsoll, samt en mengde LAN tilgjengelig datamaskiner. 

Lokalet er delt opp i mange tematisk rom. Et er dedikert til fortid, et skal bli utsmykket til nåtid, og et blir tildelt fremtid, så mer tematisk utsmykking er forventet. 

I hoved salen er en rustikk bar installert, en som kommer komplett med kafe, te, og en catmaid, samt en ganske okei scene. Så det er kanskje muligheter for at cosplay interesserte tenåringer slår seg ned i et rom også. 

Dagen da jeg var innom, ble jeg vel mottatt i døren, og fikk en omvisnings runde.

I alle rom var det liv. Spesielt i rommet med datamaskiner. Plassen tildelt konsoller kommer med en masse saccosekker og et teppe der man må gå uten sko. Stedet er yndig til å spille Super Smash Bros. Noen satt også å puslet med fargerike perler. Skulle man holde på med miniatyr modeller er det nok av bordplass til det, kom over noen som ble introdusert til et nytt spill på vegne av en organisasjon kalt Bubba. Ellers er jo mulig å bare henge på stedet og snakke med forskjellige folk.

Sånn ellers er det en stor haug med brettspill som jeg har, og har ikke hørt om. Lokale er oppe fra 16 til 20 bortimot hver dag, faktiske pånings tider finner man på hjemmesiden dies uanset. Stedet er godt tilgjengelig for rullestolbrukere og har en heis hele veien opp de tre etasjene det er snakk om, og det er nok også mulig å leie stedet for å arrangere et passende arrangement. Til slutt må jeg jo nevene at steded har gratis inngang.

Hilsen Njål

https://goo.gl/maps/UdLnDps49oCkkc8R8

https://www.spillhus.no

Naruto took spirals too far

Puns and wordplays are fun and I dare say so. A memorable character name with some sort of theme is that as well. However it is possible to take it a tad too far. One series that goes absolutely overboard with the meaning convention is Naruto, the titular main character of the series. He sports an orange jumpsuit and bright blonde hair, yet he is supposed to be a sneaky ninja. However this is not an anime review, just a rant. His full name is Naruto Uzumaki. The first name is taken from a spiral shaped ramen topping called narutomaki. This noodle broth is also his favorite food. The last name means spiral, which could also be a vortex, or a maelstrom. On his forehead he wears a protector with an iron plate, engraved with a stylized leaf with a spiral in it. There is more to the thematic madness though, because he eventually learns a technique that revolves around using energy to make a spiraling ball. Which leaves a similar shaped indentation in his victims. The rasengan roughly translates into strong whirlwind, naturally his main element is wind. 

Spin me around like a record baby, the very concept of the character spiraled out of control, see you next rant

Njål signing out

Solheim Chapel

Religion sure made some big, lavish, and very ornate buildings. Norway has a plethora of churches all over the place. From small local gathering halls, a fairly famous cathedral, and a lot of ugly modern monstrosities. Architects adore concrete far too much for my liking. Anyhow, the other day I visited this marvelous old stone building surrounded by a sloped cemetery here in Bergen.

The old chapel is practically ancient, yet well kept. Despite my misgivings about fanatic fools, there is just so much to see and notice on this old lump of stone. 

The structure itself is built on an elevated platform with stairs on both sides and several arches in the middle. The arches themselves are covered with old and sturdy metal doors that have weathered a lot it seems. Inside said entrypoint there are rows of dusty shelves used to store burial urns. 

There is nothing there now and the sign is clearly lying about visiting hours. I crank that up to it being an old sign.  Like all traditional grave sites, there is a tarnished and wobbly fence around the lot to keep spirits of the dead inside and to provide some solitude. The architect went into painful detail to make the building symmetrical.

Information indicates the chapel was built in 1920 by Sigurd Lunde. A very active same prolific fellow in the Bergen area during the 1900. He sure implemented some nice round arches into the construction, making the church both traditional looking, while being fairly minimalistic.

Njål signing out

Masters of the Universe is all about Teela and Spoilers

 I am a sucker for good animation and I love the stories told and watch them unfold. Even if a lot of them are very cringy and have sketchy transitions. Some say it is for kids, and to those I say pox upon you. Animation is just a different medium of storytelling, just like books, games, comics and whatever else we can get our grubby mitts on. He- Man is no different. It is an amusing show that plays fast and loose with the rules of what the main protagonist is capable of achieving. It seems mostly related to throwing rocks and punching things hard. The animation was simple and clearly based on a limited budget and those weird rules american television imposed upon shows. Characters rarely died, suffered any fatal wounds and pretty much every episode was a standalone story that never went anywhere. Just like kids playing with the toys the show intended to sell.

Skeletor attacks the castle Greyskull in his latest plot to become a master of the universe. By tricking He-Man into stabbing the source of magic and opening up the conduit by impaling Skeltor. Then a brawl for the power of magic ensues and He-Man absorbs the power with his sword, which splits in half as he himself reverts to Adam and is turned into black smear on the castle floor. Skeletor vanishes as well and Teela is turned into a bit of a bellend and Man at Arms is punted out of the castle and Teela quits. Now magic is dying and if magic goes, the universe ends.
First we have to turn the heroine into a ruthless mercenary with a fairly pleasant and likable companion that brings a bit of levity to it all.

Eventually Evil-Lyn join in on the action, because magic is her thing and because she is evil, and evil is always looking for more power. 

Teela is turned into a snarky asskicking asshole, I suppose it is an improvement from what little I have seen of the original show. It was never televised in Norway as far as I can tell, probably for the best, localized dubs tend to be of inferior quality. A bit like nails on chalkboard, plust it often deprives children of the joys of being exposed to another language. Anyhow Teela has turned into a generic fanfiction stereotype. Moody, broody, with a tough exterior that kicks ass, is snarky as heck and quite unlikable. Sure the secret of Adam being He-Man was kept from her, but apparently the betrayal turned her sour. Why he kept the secret though is just due to bad writing in the original I dare say. Anyhow this type of character is so common these days it is getting stale like milk. Oh and they killed He-Man in the first episode to make the story all about her finding herself and becoming a strong female hero. To make the story even more generic, they killed off Orko, because that is edgy, right? From the mouth of the writer no one liked the character in the first place.

Man at Arms just kicks ass and is a caring father and at least twenty years older than before.

Cringer is just being a coward and is mostly ignored, which is for the best. I have no idea why these shows insisted on a wacky animals sidekick with a speech impediment. 

Evil-Lyn shows signs of becoming good, until Skeltor returns. Now if the writer keeps this up, I expect her to eventually backstab Skeletor and claim the power for herself. Because the age of a bulky purple man with a skull for a head is problematic. Female empowerment I suppose. Oh and Adam returned from the afterlife, only to get penetrated from behind by Skeletor's phallic spear.

Aside from killing off characters and making the story into one long continuity that is intended to put a coherent end to the Masters of the Universe, or is it a new beginning? I honestly can not tell. I have to give the animation praise though it is absolutely gorgeous and the action is top notch. The minor villain turning people into cyborgs is fairly interesting. The body horror potential itself is just fantastic. The scenery is also breathtaking and I hope the animation studio was paid handsomely for their superb work. All in all I was entertained and the show is not bad, but the main character leaves a lot to be desired.

Njål #Zaceron Signing out

Back of the head love tap

 Tropes are good, tropes are bad, but one trope that really grates on my nerves is one that is as old as humanity itself. For some unfathomable reason heroes always have to be knocked out and captured. If there is action it is virtually guaranteed to happen. It is a very convenient way to put the hero at the place of the plot required to progress the story. In stories such pesky things as physics and logic take a back seat to reality. I know this fact well, especially since I’m an author myself. In stories getting a good knock on the back of the head is always enough to put someone in a well timed coma. Yes according to human biology and the sturdiness of the human skull, getting hit in the back of the head might in fact be lethal. The good old blackjack used to give someone a good knock on the noggin can kill a human, or at least cause irreparable damage and bleeding wounds, the kind that requires stitches. Essentially there is always a chance that any sort of way to make a human fall unconscious will have a fatal outcome. We are all remarkably fragile after all. This also ties into the old cliche of the damsel in distress, with a chance of a villainous dialogue once the character wakes up, or a conveniently slow death trap to escape. You have seen it, I have seen it and quite frankly in my opinion it is getting very old. I mean seriously I grew up on this crap and have been guilty of doing it myself. There are two comics I grew up on that is especially guilty of this. One is Conan the Barbarian, he is way too often knocked out at the end of a story as the perky female of the story walks away with the loot. The other series is that of Tintin. The story of a perky adventurer and his white dog, allegedly he is a journalist, but I’ve yet to see him write an article. Unlike the dynamic duo of Spirou and Fantasio. The reason for this rant is that I recently watched Resident Evil on Netflix and this trite and slock plot point happened towards the end. Also sorry for spoilers of the most cliche franchise ever. are you in Bergen at the right time and love comics? Visit the Raptus comic expo this year.

http://raptus.no

Njål Signing out #zaceron